I'm Alright
by RollinsFrostFan
Summary: Based where Liv is still with Cassidy. It's not going well at all and Liv is unhappy. Her and Amanda have never been close or even friends for that matter. Amanda picks up on Liv's demeanor and is worried. She wants to make sure her lieutenant is okay. Even if that means being an ear and listening to her. Wont be too long. Im not sure if it will get romantic or not
1. Chapter 1

_**This fanfic not sure if its going to be romantic Rolivia or friendship Rolivia. May borderline both. However I was inspired by the new Shania Twain song "I'm Alright" so you may see some lyrics here and there. This one starts out with a focus on Liv and shes still with Cassidy at the time. Not very happy and Amanda is concerned. So will their friendship grow, will Liv let her in. Will Amanda be there to listen? Wont be a long story maybe a couple shot. We will see what I get inspired with**_

She was with Cassidy, the biggest ass of SVU. At least that's what Amanda thought. She really didnt see what Liv saw in him. But he had been somewhat of a constant for Liv. They had a past. In the beginning of Liv's time at SVU. Shit Elliot didnt even care for him. But to each their own right? Her and Cassidy had started off as just sex, pure sex when they were stressed at work. It grew after some time apart. Just shortly after Amanda had come up to Manhattan, they had started seeing each other seriously and had even moved in together. For a while it seemed as though Liv was happy and that was all the team cared about. Amanda still didnt like the guy. She thought he was an overpompous ass, but she bit her tongue and kept it to herself. Her and Liv didnt get along the greatest and right now Liv wasnt on her ass and she wanted to keep it that way.

But as we move on into present times, Liv isnt acting herself. She's not snipping at Amanda, and is even making small talk with her. Which prompts Amanda to pick up on something being wrong. But again she doesnt want to pry cause she knows how Liv retaliates and practically has her head on a silver platter. There had been many times that Liv's harping on her made her wanna say 'fuck it' after work and go hit up a casino but she didnt want to ruin her sobriety either. She had worked hard for that.

Liv had dismissed everyone to go home for the evening. They werent going to get any further with the case til they heard from TARU and that wouldnt be til morning if they were lucky. Fin and Carisi were definitly game for getting out of there. Fin was itching to test out his new video game and Carisi was as well. They had been hanging out more often since going to the big convention not too long ago. Liv went back into her office. She had been arguing with Cassidy over texts for the past couple hours and you could see the stress taking a toll on her. She put her head on her desk for what she thought was a few minutes. It wasnt until she heard the knock on her door and the door slightly open that she realized it hadnt been a few minutes but it had been over an hour. She glanced up to see that there was still a light on out in the squad room. She had been under the impression everyone had gone home. She thought to herself 'Shit, noone can know I'm staying here. They'll know something is up. I dont want all the questions.' She was a strong woman, she didnt want them to know that Cassidy had gotten the best of her. Made a fool out of her so to speak. As she was deep in her thoughts she saw the light go out and heard the knock again. Then she heard the soft southern accent in the words spoke "Hey Lieutenant, I'm finished. Gonna head out for the evening. Wanna walk out together since we are the only ladies?" Liv got up and came to the door, she smiled which you could tell was a fake smile. " Okay Rollins. Thanks for staying and finishing up. I'll see you tomorrow." Amanda could tell something was up. Here was her boss, her eyes were red and the blackish circles under them let her know that she wasnt resting properly. Going against her better judgement she decided to pry a bit. "Olivia, are you okay? Not that I'm complaining but you havent really bitched at me or yelled at me. Plus you seem kinda run down."

Liv waited a second, she sent an angry glare. She hadnt meant to, it was her defense mechanism kicking in. She even kinda snappily replied "Well what do you expect, been working a case that all we seem to keep getting is dead ends. So what am I supposed to be happy?" Amanda's eyes went wide. There was the bitchy leiutenant she was used to. She felt stupid as shit for trying to make sure Liv was okay. "Okay Olivia I'll take that as you want me to leave. Sorry I bothered you. Have a good night." Amanda then walked away. Thoughts running wild, 'what the fuck? All I did was ask if she was okay cause I was concerned. See that bites me in the ass.' It struck Liv that she just unintentionally snapped on Rollins when all Rollins was doing was being a good subordinate and checking on her boss. Liv put her phone in her pocket and ran towards the elevator hoping to catch Amanda before she was gone. She saw the petite blonde standing there waiting. "Amanda wait." Amanda looked at Liv trying to hide her rolling eyes. She did not want to be yelled at again. It was enough already. "Yes Liv. What can I do for you?" Liv took a deep breath, "Amanda I'm sorry. It's just been a shit week, I guess since you were the last one to leave you caught my wrath. I'm sorry. Well I just wanted to apologize. Have a good night Amanda." Amanda cocked her head. See now Liv was confusing her again. Something was definitly going on. She must like torture she thought cause here she was about to check on Liv once more. "Liv, are you sure you're okay?" Liv looked down. "Yeah I'm alright Rollins. Go on home." Amanda reached out to touch Liv's shoulder, this was the most contact she had with her boss but she wanted to make sure she was okay. "Liv why dont you come over, we can talk, maybe have a couple glasses of wine. I know I'm pretty much your least favorite person on the squad but I cant leave you like this." Liv thought bout Amanda's words bout her being her least favorite on the squad, oh she couldnt be more wrong. Liv didnt want to keep her, she unfortunately had to go home at some point and face Cassidy. "Amanda I appreciate the offer, I really do. I'm good. I'll be finishing up here soon and heading home for the evening. Go home and relax for the evening. You have worked hard all day."


	2. Unexpected Visitor

_**Heres chapter two: hope you like. As you will see Liv is gonna go thru some shit. But Amanda is there, wanting to help her and get her through. I still have at least another chapter or two...**_

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Amanda headed home. Alot on her mind. She did offer to have Liv come over and talk if she needed. She knew Liv was going through alot but she could only do so much. As she walked in her door she shrugged off her jacket and threw her keys on the table. She couldnt take much more. She grabbed a beer, slouched down on her futon, kicked her shoes off and put on Will & Grace. She needed something to cheer her up.

Liv on the other side of town finally gave in and went home. She hoped Brian wouldnt be there, but she knew his shift and he was prolly home by now drinking a beer and eating take out since he wasnt one to cook. He claimed he was the only one who was ever home early evenings. He heard her come in. He was grouchy and wanted to know why she was so late. So he sarcastically spoke, "decided to grace me with your presence eh? Wow I should be so lucky my girlfriend came home while I'm still awake." Liv hung her coat and her purse on the coat rack. She rolled her eyes as Brian stared her down. She went and grabbed a glass of wine and sat down. "For your information Brian, I am lieutenant and that does take alot of work. I didnt get there by sitting on my ass." He looked at her and took a drink of his drink. He wasnt done. He was tired of coming home and being alone ninety percent of the time. "Liv we didnt get a place together so I could come home and wish my girlfriend was here with me. Shit a man gets lonely and he has needs. Needs that you as a girlfriend should be taking care of." Oh Liv was pissed. She didnt do anything to deserve this treatment at all. She worked and came home not to mention she was faithful and she loved Brian. The thing she was tired of was coming home lately to if he was awake fights like this. Amanda was onto something, no she wasnt okay. Se was tired of being hurt and treated like shit. But where she chastised her subordinate for the shit she went through how could she dare expect her to listen to her and be there? "Look Brian I really don't want to fight with you. I'm tired, it was a long day and I just wanna relax, drink my wine and go to bed." He glared at her, pissed off he wiped his hand across the coffee table. "It is what is Liv. You dont have time for me what so ever. Complete bullshit. It's like we are fucking roommates and my damn girlfriend is my hand. But that makes no matter to you does it?" Olivia looked at the mess he made, breaking his beer bottle and her wine glass, red wine staining the carpet. "What the hell is your problem Brian? No need to do all of this." He looked at her. "Yeah your right. Why do all of this. Why the fuck bother? I'm obviously not a priority. All you fuckin care about is your damn job. You live for your job and nothing else." Liv got up she was furious. She wasnt about to listen to anymore of his bullshit. She didnt deserve it tonight or any night. She went into the bedroom grabbed some clothes and went to grab some toiletries. Brian watched. "Oh now what gonna go sleep at the damn cribs? You're pathetic Liv. We are supposed to be dating and here you are running from a confrontation." Liv put her bag down by the door, walked over to Brian standing right infront of him, in his face. "Fuck you Cassidy. You know what? I'm done. There I said it. I've been feeling this way for a while now. So do whatever you need to but I want you out." She felt the tears stinging her eyes. Oh those angry tears. No she wasnt going to let them fall, wasnt going to let him see how he hurt her. He wasnt going to win. She walked out that door and she wasnt looking back.

Amanda had just gotten out of the shower and had put on her lounge clothes which consisted of a tank top and sweats. Hey its what she felt comfortable in, besides she wasnt expecting company or at least that was so she thought. She paused her tv, oh how she loved that she could pause her recorded tv shows, she needed to pee and wanted a new beer. As she got out of the bathroom she heard a knock on her door. Confused a bit as to who would be showing up to her apartment at this time of night. Tonight wasnt one of the nights she had a male visitor come over. She went to her door and looked out the peep hole. When she saw who was on the other side she was shocked. There stood Olivia Benson, she thought to herself as she opened the door 'what is Liv doing here?' She opened the door and you could see the brunette was just not herself. She spoke softly, "Amanda I'm sorry for showing up unannounced. Oh nevermind, I can go." Amanda shook her head gently touched Liv's hand, "Nonsense come on in Liv. Here let me take your jacket." She gave Amanda her jacket as Amanda closed and locked her door. She looked at Liv, she instantly knew something was up. She didnt want to press so she kept her questions at bay. "Make yourself at home Liv. I was just relaxing, and catching up on Will & Grace. Would you like something to drink? Something to eat?" Liv nodded no. Amanda grabbed a bottle of water for her just in case and headed over to the futon. She looked at Liv, the woman who was the epitome of strong you could see was broken. She sat close to Liv close enough to hold her if needed but enough space if Liv felt she needed it. Thing was right now Liv had no idea what the hell she wanted. "Liv, what happened?" Liv looked at her, those dark brown orbs showing Amanda pain while trying to hold the tears at back. Yeah that didnt work so well. Amanda hated seeing her like this. Then she heard the buzzing, Liv was holding her phone and Brian was texting her. Telling her he had definitly had enough of this charade of a relationship and that he couldnt believe he stayed as long as he did. Amanda took her phone when she saw Liv's tears start pouring down. She put the phone on the table and took the upset brunette in her arms. Liv didnt fight her, she actually let Amanda hold her. Amanda muttered softly, reassuringly that she was there and that she was safe. Amanda rubbed her back gently in the circular motion that they used alot with the vics to get them to relax. Liv sat back up, Amanda kept her hand on her back as her way of showing support. Tearfully she spoke "Amanda I'm sorry for showing up unannounced. I just had nowhere to go and to be honest I really didnt want to go back to the precinct and spend the night in the cribs." Amanda hugged her tightly. "Liv, sweetie I'm glad you came here. Can you tell me what happened?" Liv nodded saying yes she would tell her, she leaned back to get ready to, closed her eyes to help prepare to talk. She went silent. Amanda looked over at her and saw that Liv had curled up and fallen asleep. Amanda pulled the blanket from the top of the futon and covered Liv. Amanda was angry as hell. How dare Cassidy put Liv through this? How dare he treat her like this? She wanted to go rip his ass and tell him a thing or two. But she didnt. Reasons being one Liv was here asleep on her futon obviously didnt feel safe at home, and two she didnt want to betray Liv like that. She gently kissed the top of her bosses head softly speaking "I'm always here Liv. You can stay here as long as you like." With that she turned a nightlight on and went to her room. Leaving the door cracked incase Liv needed anything. She curled up under covers and went to sleep.


	3. Trust And Connection

They slept through til morning. Amanda waking before Liv. Amanda walked out and saw Liv sleeping on the futon, this woman so strong for everyone else but at the same time so vulnerable. Since it was Saturday they had the day off. Fin had picked up the weekend. Amanda decided to put a pot of coffee on. She hadnt felt like getting dressed so she padded around the place barefoot, silk shorts and a tank top. Was her pajamas and she was comfy. She saw Liv's phone going off on the coffee table. She went over and tapped Liv gently to wake her up. Liv woke up disoriented and confused as to why she was in Amanda's apartment and why the blonde was walking around in hotshorts and a tank. Yawning, "how in the hell did I end up here" Amanda looked over at her. "Mornin' Liv, you came over here late last night." Liv looked at her, feeling bad that she had interrupted whatever Amanda had going on. "Amanda I'm sorry. I'll um... I'll get out of your hair. I shouldnt have inconvienced you." Olivia got up, Amanda could see she was still clearly upset and didnt want to go home. "Liv you didnt inconvience me. Honest. I however am worried about you. What happened last night to have you show up here, again not that I mind. But I know something is wrong. You're not yourself. You can come over any time you need to."

Amanda let Liv be by herself for a bit, she figured she needed it. What she really wanted was for Liv to open up to her and tell her, she didnt know if Liv ever would. Liv just watched her. She didnt want to burden the blonde with her troubles. "Oh Amanda I appreciate that. I just dont want to put you out." Amanda sat down next to Liv, pulling a long toned leg up underneath her. "Liv you are in no way putting me out. If I didnt want to be bothered or didnt care, Liv I wouldnt have asked. Please know I can, want to and will be an ear if you want me to." Olivia watched Amanda, she heard the sincerity in her voice. Why would Amanda care after all the hell she put her through. She truly was genuine. She went quiet for a bit, getting up to get a cup of coffee since Amanda had made some. She brought Amanda over a cup as well, since watching at work she knew what she put in hers. "Amanda you dont know how much I appreciate this. I trust you so I'll tell you."

Amanda was glad that Liv trusted her. Felt good cause for the longest time Liv didnt trust her let alone even like her. Liv watched her, she didnt even know where to start. Amanda told her to start where she felt comfortable and she could ask questions if she got lost or confused. Liv began to tell her what was happening between her and Brian. Amanda listened intently. Though what Liv was telling her was pissing her off majorly she bit back. The last thing she wanted was for Liv to close herself off. Amanda could tell that Brian had really hurt her. What got her the most the was the tears starting to come down. She didnt like to see Olivia cry. It hurt her cause cared bout the brunette and she cared very deeply. "Liv, hun I'm here. I'm not gonna run. Talk to me." Liv told her of how cruel Brian had been recently. She actually told her everything he said, how he treated her and acted towards her. She did the only thing that came natural to her, she reached over and pulled the taller crying brunette into her arms. "Liv oh my god. What a prick. You were good to him. Why the hell he wanted to hurt you so much I dont know." Liv hugged her. "Thank you Amanda. That means alot. I just feel that I'm really not worthy of that level of committment and or love." With saying that she got up and walked to the window, Amanda had a great view of the NYC skyline. Amanda stayed on the futon, "Liv what can I do. I hate seeing you like this." Liv closed her eyes. "Amanda you've done so much already. You opened your door and your home to me. If you hadnt I would have spent the night in the cribs. I appreciate that more than you know." Amanda walked up behind Liv, gently put her hand on her shoulder. Her heart was breaking for the woman. But then again her heart was growing in another way for her as well.

Liv turned in Amanda's arms and out of nowhere planted a kiss on Amandas's lips. She needed some sort of connection and she'd apologize later, but this woman had been so understanding and welcoming. She expected Amanda to push her away. Amanda didnt, she welcomed the kiss and even kissed her back.


	4. Unwanted Interruption

The kiss lasted a few seconds. You could feel the attraction between them. When Liv broke the kiss she freaked. "Oh shit, sorry Amanda I shouldnt have done that. Very unprofessional of me. I'm going to go and get out of here. So you can have a peaceful weekend." Liv got up to go get dressed, Amanda grabbed her hand gently. "Wait Liv. Please dont leave. We need to talk about this. There's a reason the kiss happened. I'm not ashamed, or angry. Actually to be quite honest it felt really nice and like it was supposed to happen." Liv looked at Amanda, here she was nervous as all hell and Amanda was all calm and collected with a bit of a blush. Amanda sat in her spot, silk bed shorts riding up just a lil bit showing some more of her toned thigh. Gave Liv thoughts that she so badly wanted to act on but at the same time she didnt want to use Amanda as a rebound.

Amanda leaned back, she wanted Liv to relax and her sitting up proper like she was wasnt going to help matters. "Liv, relax you are all nerved out over a kiss, or is it more and you havent said anything?" Liv looked at her, her expression unreadable to Amanda. Jesus if Liv thought Amanda was pandoras box well then she was evenly matched. "Liv? Can you talk to me? You have to know that what is said to me stays between me and you." Liv looked at her. Just as Liv was going to answer Amanda there was a pounding on her door. Amanda scowled, noone pounded on the door like that unless they were a cop. They pounded again, "Jesus christ wait a damn minute I'm coming", grabbing her gun and shield she went to the door. Peeping through the peep hole she could see it was Brian. She decided to leave the chain on and open the door. She wasnt happy seeing Brian Cassidy on the other side of the door. She wanted to know how in the hell he found out where she lived. Curtly talking she asked him what he wanted. He wanted to know if she had seen Benson. "Like I'd tell you if I had. Maybe if you werent such an asshole you'd know where she is." Liv was sitting there in the living room, she was actually thankful someone had her back. "Come on Rollins, all I wanna know is if you've seen or heard from her. Its not like her to not come home." Amanda shrugged at him. "Cassidy she's a big girl, she's also a lieutenant I think she can take care of herself. And how in the hell did you find out where I live? You dont need to know. You dont work for svu." He looked at her and started to push the door a bit. "Rollins dont toy with me. I know you know something." Amanda pushed the door black closing it just a bit. "First off prick, you are on my property, uninvited, unwanted I can call and have New Yorks finest come and get you." He glared at her, pissed off that she wasnt the push over he expected her to be. She closed the door, locked it and went back over to get a cup of coffee. Not at all embarrassed that Cassidy was just checking her out as she was still in her pajamas.

Amanda glanced at Liv as she sat down on the chair. "Are you okay Liv?" Liv sighed, "Yeah. I'm fine." Amanda touched her hand gently. "Look Liv if I was out of line for the way I talked to him feel free to tell me." Liv thought for a second. She didnt think Amanda was out of line at all. She actually appreciated Amanda going to bat for her. She hadnt had that in a friend before. She hadnt even had that in a partner or lover either. _"holy hell what am I thinking. for fucks sake it was just a damn kiss. she needed to get a grip on this. but come on Rollins sticking up for her and walking around in her pajamas. Holy shit did she look hot!"_ Liv looked at Amanda gently patting her hand. "No Amanda you weren't out of line. I actually appreciated you sticking up for me. I am however sorry for having brought you into this mess. You sure don't need it." As Liv talked tears started to fall down from her chocolate orbs. Amanda couldnt stand the fact that Liv was blaming herself for all of this when it wasnt her fault. Cassidy made his choice to be a dick and treat her like shit. "Liv you're more than welcome to stay here til you sort out what you want to do about your living situation with Cassidy." Liv nodded speaking softly "Thank you Amanda. I just dont know what the hell is going on. One thing I want to make clear, that kiss between us I cant get out of my mind." Amanda looked at Liv, "Sweetie please dont stress out over the kiss. I'm more worried on how you are doing and holding up."

Liv smiled, she couldnt believe Amanda was this understanding and so kind to her. Especially after all they had been through. The animosity in the beginning of Amanda's career with NYPD was horrid and Amanda looked past it all just to be there for Liv. What Liv didnt want to admit was that she hoped there would be more kisses between her and Amanda.


	5. Is There More?

Liv smiled, she couldnt believe Amanda was this understanding and so kind to her. Especially after all they had been through. The animosity in the beginning of Amanda's career with NYPD was horrid and Amanda looked past it all just to be there for Liv. What Liv didnt want to admit was that she hoped there would be more kisses between her and Amanda.

Amanda went to take a quick shower. As she was in the shower Fin called Liv to tell her that Cassidy had come to the station and ripped him and Carisi up and down. "Liv he was pissed. I've seen Brian mad but fuck he was mad. Saying he went over to Rollins place to ask if she had seen you and Rollins pretty much politely told him to fuck off. So being your oldest partner can I ask what the hell is going on?" Liv took a deep breath "Fin there's a whole lot going on. Ill talk to you when I get to the precinct. Just do me a favor. If Cassidy is hanging around, dont tell him you heard from me." Fin understood where she was coming from. He was never a Cassidy fan so he wasnt going to do him any favors by telling him where Liv was or how she was doing. He was however on Amanda's side. She was his partner and his friend just like Liv. "But you have to do me a favor. Liv, dont lead her on and dont hurt her. She has come too far." She told him she had no plans on it and right now she was actually beyond grateful that Amanda had her back and was being there for her.

Liv hung up from Fin and Amanda emerged from her shower shortly after. "Hey Liv feel free to use the shower if you want." Liv nodded. "Im good Amanda. Thank you though. I do want to thank you. I mean it. We havent seen eye to eye yet rather than telling me to fuck off, you opened your door to me and let me stay. Shit you even put Brian in his place. I appreciate it alot." Amanda smiled her cobalt blue eyes sparkling "Well for one you are my boss and for two im not really that much of a cold hearted bitch." Liv got up and hugged the blonde, "well I thank you." Amanda hugged her back "No problem. I've actually enjoyed spending time and talking. Not that I enjoy seeing you hurt, cause I dont." Liv pushed her shoulder gently. "Careful Rollins I might take that as a compliment." Amanda chuckled and slightly blushed.

They headed off to the precinct, knowing damn well they were gonna raise eyebrows. They never hung out and as far as the squad knew. When they got to the precinct Amanda stopped Liv before they walked inside. "Do you think we should walk in separatey? Or should we walk in just talking?" Liv touched her face gently, "Well Fin seems to think already something is going on between us. When I talked to him on the phone he asked me for a favor." Amanda scowled questioningly. "He asked you for a favor?" Liv nodded, brushing her knuckle across Amanda's cheek "Yes, he asked me to not lead you on and not to hurt you cause you have come too far. You know what, hes right. You have come really far." Amanda blushed, she wasnt used to hearing compliments from anyone let alone her boss whom for the longest time she felt hated her. "Okay Liv, since we are standing out here. What are we going to do about everything we have shared?" Just as Liv was going to answer Brian saw them and walked over.

"Well Rollins, I thought you hadnt heard from Liv."


	6. Unexpected Run In

**It has been sometime since I've updated this one. I know this chapter is short, Im hoping ideas will come more fluidly. Hope you enjoy this piece**

Amanda looked over, sending the dirtiest most annoyed look you could think of in Brian's direction. He walked over to her and Liv. "Well? You told me you hadn't heard from her and here the two of you are, shooting the shit. So Olivia whats the deal with that? I thought you couldnt stand Rollins cause she was an addict?" Amanda continued to glare at him even with the tears stinging her eyes. _'Had Liv really discussed with him her gambling? Liv really did hate her.'_ Amanda now felt like a first class ass, but she wasnt going to let on and let Cassidy see it. She could put the fascade on and pretend all was okay. Liv turned to be face to face with him. "You're doing this cause I told you I was done? Real mature Brian. Real fucking mature. So me and Amanda had issues in the past, big deal. It shows how both of us have grown to overcome the differences, to respect each other and be able to be friends."

Things started to get heated with Brian. Words flying, insults flying. Brian telling Amanda exactly what Liv would say at the house. Most of it not being true but there were some parts you could tell were, those hurt Amanda. She tried to play it off, but if you looked close enough you could see that the words stung Amanda. Liv had enough "Brian would you cut the shit out. I told you when I left I was done and that meant I was done with you especially where I told you that I wanted you out."

He advanced toward Liv, "so you go running to Rollins, come on Liv. You cant stand her. You've said so many of times what a fuck up Rollins is and how you wish you could transfer out." That was enough. Amanda rolled her eyes up. Glaring at Brian she walked away. Going to the restroom to freshen up. She had a plethora of emotions running through her right now. She was hurt cause Liv had spoken ill of her behind her back. She didnt really think Liv was the type to talk shit behind someone's back but apparently she was wrong on that. She was pissed off at Brian for bringing it all to a head. Just as Liv was getting ready to put Brian in his place Amanda came back out. "Look you good for nothing useless prick, you love Liv so much right? Why the fuck was she in my arms last night crying cause of the shit you said to her? But oh you love her. Never did understand what she saw in such a misogynistic prick like you. So fucking what we have had issues in the past, noone gets along all the time. You though, you get the prize for being the biggest dick there is." He looked at her, had his fists balled. Amanda glanced down to attend to the buzzing phone going off in her pocket, next thing she knew she was on her ass with the wind knocked out of her.

Olivia grabbed Cassidy "What the hell is wrong with you? You just assaulted my detective? Seriously?" He looked at Liv, "That piece of shit right there is running her mouth." Amanda got back up. Heaving, still trying to catch her breath back. "Wow some man eh Cassidy? Punching a woman. Yeah that's real proof right there." She whirled around and punched him in the gut, causing him to sputter and choke. "I get back up, just remember that and I hit back. Liv I'm tired of the bullshit I'm taking a personal day. If I dont I may end up losing my fucking job." As Amanda was walking away Liv caught up to her. "Amanda please make sure you get checked out if you are in any pain. Check in with me later please?" Amanda couldnt be mad at her, she nodded okay. But the hurt feelings were gonna take some time to go away. Amanda quietly spoke "Sure Lieutenant if I have any trouble breathing or am in an immense amount of pain I will go be checked out."

 **Should Amanda have to be seen? Should she have to go to the ER and then have Liv come down there? Let me know what you want to see and I will see what I can come up with. Thanks for being so patient with this story.. Also starting a new job here soon so my stress level should be down and I can write more. Thanks :)**


	7. Showing She Cares

It was later on in the evening, Amanda had gone on home with the promise if she was to feel any sharp pains and or had trouble breathing she would go down to the emergency room. She wasnt gonna lie her ribs did hurt, they were prolly bruised with her luck. She still rathered herself take the shot than the asshole turn and lay his hands on Liv. She really hoped that Liv didnt let Cassidy get away with any of it.

Meanwhile at the precinct Olivia was furious with Brian...

Liv pulled Brian into her office. She was livid, how dare he hit a woman? Not to mention that said woman being Amanda her friend and detective.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? REALLY YOU TURN AROUND AND KNOCK MY DETECTIVE ON HER ASS. I CAN PRESS CHARGES ON YOU, YOU DO REALIZE THAT, RIGHT?"

She glared at him, waiting for whatever answer he was going to give. "Well come on Brian give me an answer. She sure as hell didnt owe you any kind of explaination or anything. She did what a real friend is supposed to do. She had my back, and was there for me when I needed someone." He looked at her, anger was clearly evident. "I dont owe you anything either. After all you were in her arms last night from what she said. Did you fuck her too?" That did it, hit her nerve just the right way. She hauled off and slapped him right across the face.

"You know Brian, I have never in my whole life been one to regret anything I've done. I think that has a lot to deal with how I was raised. But I completely regret being with you. You are not the person I thought you were. You are a self-righteous ass. Get the fuck out of my precinct. Yes Brian I said _my_ precinct."

After he left, she sat there at her desk, trying to calm herself down and it just wasnt working. She was aggravated at herself for being so damn stupid for actually thinking he was the right guy for her. Boy was she fucking wrong. Not to mention she was worried about Amanda. She wondered if he did do any damage, as he did hit her pretty hard. She knew though that her detective was as strong willed as she was and wouldnt seek any attention and would just suck up the pain. She wanted to check on her, but with all that had gone down would Amanda even want to talk to her? She couldnt shake the hurt look when Brian was spewing his lies. God how she hoped Amanda didnt truly believe any of that. They had come so far since she first started. She didnt want them going back to where they hated each other. She wouldnt be able to take that.

Amanda was laying on her couch with a heating pad on her ribs. She knew they werent cracked or broken but goddamn that didnt stop them from hurting like fucking hell. She had gotten up to get herself some beer and aspirin, yeah not a smart mix but she figured take some aspirin and the beer would knock her the fuck out. She wanted to forget today even happened. When she laid back on the couch after taking her medication she felt tears sting her eyes out of nowhere, these weren't tears of pain though.

 _'How could Liv hate her like that? Hadnt they come farther than that? Guess not if she was venting to Brian about all my shitty qualities. I was a fucking fool to think that she actually got past that and moved on.'_ she swiped angrily at a tear betraying her and rolling down her cheek. She was just about to doze off when her phone went off.

"Hey Amanda, just wanted to check on you. Wanted to make sure you arent in so much pain and fighting being seen. If you are I will come get you and bring you to the er myself.- Liv"

Amanda picked her phone up from the top of the futon to see who was texting. To be quite honest she was surprised Liv was texting her. She didnt expect it especially today. It felt nice though at the same time that Liv cared enough to check on her. Shit it was just last night they were on this very futon and Liv was in her arms crying over the dick head.

"Hey Liv, thanks for checking on me. I'm fine. A big girl, I can take a hit. I dont need you or anyone to bring me to the er. - Amanda"

Liv got the text and knew instantly that Amanda was indeed pissed at her. She decided she wasnt going to text back but actually go over and check on her friend and detective. She needed to clear the air and talk to Amanda. Leave it to Brian to be an asshole and pull shit. God what did she ever see in the man? Granted the sex was good for a while but something was lacking and now she put her finger on it. He just wasnt compassionate enough or caring. The drive over to Amanda's apartment gave her time to think. What had happened the other night when she kissed Amanda. Something there just felt right to her. She hadnt regretted it, it felt good and like it was supposed to happen. The rain pelting her windshield as she drove. Nothing mattered at the current time except getting over to Amanda's and explaining face to face what she had said to Brian.

Short time later she found herself at Amanda's. Amanda was moody as she had her music going. Liv hadnt really heard her sing before but could hear her through the door. She was singing a song called "Diamond" by Martina McBride. Damn the woman could sing she thought. She knocked on the door a few seconds later. She didnt hear anyone coming to the door so she knocked again, this time she heard the music being turned down and heard footsteps coming down the hallway to the door. When the blonde woman got to the door she looked in the peephole, she wasnt expecting to see Olivia.

Opening the door as she didnt want to have Liv out there in the rain too long. "Liv what brings you by? I said I was fine. Pain isnt bad, I'm just laying down and listening to music." Liv looked at her, she could tell the blonde was still hurt by the words from Brian earlier. "Can I come in so we can talk?" Amanda sighed and waved her hand to allow Liv to come in. "What do you want to talk about Liv? Wasnt there enough said earlier?" Amanda's eyes went down to the floor. She was humiliated that Liv had thought so little of her when the whole time she had believed they had moved past their differences. Liv looked at her, attempting to look into the blue orbs possessed by her friend here. "Amanda please dont look at the ground. You did nothing wrong.

Amanda clenched her fists, she wouldnt hit Liv but her anger was hitting her again. Her tone snarly " _I did nothing wrong huh? But yet you listened to him spew shit about me. Not to mention you told him things. How much you hated me, how much you dispise me and look down on me. I really dont need my nose rubbed in it anymore."_

Liv put her hand on Amanda's "Honey I dont hate you. Yeah he may have spewed hate but I didnt pay him no mind. I may have vented when you started, sure everyone vents and I was going through a lot with Stabler's departure and you coming in. But Amanda we have come so far since then, so far. Dont let his words ruin what's been going good for us."

Amanda looked at the tan hand that laid gently upon her own pale one, her hurt slowly melting as Liv was putting the effort in. "Liv, if we have gotten so far like you say we have; then why tell Brian all that stuff. I know I fucked up in the beginning when I got here. I fucked up bad with the gambling and then the drama with Kim. But I really thought I had redeemed myself with you and that we were finally on the right track to becoming really good friends. Just goes to show you I was dead ass wrong. Look my ribs are sore, so I just wanna lay down with my heating pack and relax. You can see yourself out."

Olivia didnt want to leave. She wanted to stay and talk, but she didnt want to stress Amanda out anymore than she already apparently had. She stood up and gathered her things. When she got to the door she spoke again "You know Amanda for what it's worth, I went off on Brian today for everything he said. I left work with the intention of just texting you to check on you, but something told me you were worth more than a damn text so I came over instead. That should show you I value you and our friendship. I also thank you so damn much for you just letting me stay here the other night. I'll go and let you rest. See you when you come in for your shift."

Amanda looked over at the door, grunting at the movement as it hurt her tender ribs. Pain getting to her, but not wanting Liv to go. _"Liv wait, dont go. Stay please."_


	8. Pained Reassurance

Liv stayed at the door. Amanda got up, in obvious pain. Wincing as she got herself fully standing. "Liv, please dont go. I'd like you to stay. I'm a bitch when I'm hurt. Plus I do think we need to talk about what happened." Amanda not being able to withstand the pressure of standing up went back and laid on her futon. Liv immediately came back over, concern etched in her face, "Amanda what's wrong? Do you need to go be checked out? I swear to god I'll kick Brian's sorry ass if you are seriously injured."

Amanda was now slightly winded with the pain, it all just hit her suddenly. There was pain in her voice as she spoke. "I dont want to deal with doctors and nurses poking me, prodding me going ' _Does this hurt? How bout when I do this? Or how about this?'_ it felt better with the heating pad on it so I'll continue to do that." Liv nodded she too agreed that when doctors and nurses did that it was quite annoying. She was curious however if Brian left a mark or anything. "Mind if I myself take a look, maybe fresh eyes can see something you may have missed?"

Amanda shrugged and pulled up her tank top a bit. It was just enough to see the nasty bruise that had been left behind. Liv wanted to touch it just to see. "Do you mind if I touch it, I promise to be gentle?" Amanda nodded "As long as you are gentle I guess that would be okay." With Amanda holding up her shirt, just enough to expose the bruise Liv touched the injury. She touched as gently as she could but she hit a tender spot that made Amanda yelp and hiss in pain _"Jesus fucking christ that hurts._ " Liv looked up at her apologetically, " I'm sorry Amanda. I didnt mean to hurt you. I think you should get checked out. Just incase he cracked or worse broke any ribs. Cant risk you puncturing a lung sweetie." Amanda didnt want to go, but her pain was getting worse and though she had a high tolerance it was starting to break. Getting up from the couch slowly she nodded yes to Liv. Speaking softly as she was winded from the pain _"Ill go Liv. One thing though, can you stay with me? I really hate the doctors."_

Liv told her of course. Getting the injured blonde out to the car proved to be a feat. Amanda couldnt walk very far without having to stop cause of pain and being winded. Liv had her sit on the bench so she could pull her car up. She had reclined the seat so there wouldnt be pressure on the blonde while she was in the car.

"Sweetie I'm just going to bring you to the ER, I was going to bring you to the clinic but I dont think they will do much for you. I want to get you taken care of with the least pain possible."

Amanda shifted uncomfortably in the seat " _ugh whatever, just get me there. I cant take this pain._ " Liv stepped on the gas, they werent too far from the hospital. Amanda's side and stomach felt like knives were stabbing her insides. They got to the hospital shortly later, getting Amanda out of the car and into the hospital proved to be yet another feat. The woman was in pain and this time getting her into the waiting room winded her. Liv went up to the window to check her in. It didnt take too long to get into a room, thankfully. The nurse left Amanda with the gown to put on, how she hated these things. They never stayed shut. Amanda laid back on the bed she wished the damn doctor would come in already. She was cold and uncomfortable, she really hated hospitals. Amanda lay with her arms at her sides, continously rubbing her arms to keep warm. The coolness of the room and nervousness that Amanda was exhibiting made her teeth chatter.

Liv rummaged through the cabinets to see if she could find a blanket or even a sheet to keep Amanda warm. She did find one and just as she covered Amanda up with it, the attending doctor walked in. Liv looked at her and prepared to excuse herself out of the room but Amanda grabbed her hand quickly "Please stay Liv." The doctor waited to see what Liv was going to do. Once she was assured that Amanda in fact wanted her there she stayed. The doctor lifting the gown slightly to see what was going on. The bruise had formed and it wasnt pretty. It was actually quite mean looking. Brian had punched her on the right side near her hip bone. The doctor as easily as he could touched it, putting a very little amount of pressure on it but enough to get a yelp and a hiss. With that he found that she was more injured at the bottom three ribs just before the hip bone. "Well Ms. Rollins from the sound of your yelp I found the area with the most pain. It is quite swollen, I would like to send you for some tests just to make sure no damage was done to your kidneys. Plus they will tell me if your ribs are cracked, fractured or broken."

Amanda agreed, well really she had no choice in the matter. She need to find out what was up with her ribs and hopefully get something done to ease her pain just a bit. Liv held her hand as the doctor went out to get the tests set up. Liv was so angry. Amanda did nothing but help her out over these couple days and this is the thanks she got, sitting in a hospital with possible kidney damage as well as a possibility of cracked, bruised or even broken ribs. "Fucking Cassidy. Cant believe the son of a bitch would go this far." Amanda smiled weakly as she was in a lot of pain. " _This isnt your fault Liv. I wouldnt have let him hit you anyway. I'm glad it was me. Just make damn sure you dont put up with his shit."_ Liv looked at her. No she wasnt going to put up with his shit. She was done. "Amanda once these tests are all done and we find out what is wrong, I either want you to come back to my place or let me stay at yours. I dont want you alone with an injury and be in all this pain; and I mean it I'm standing my ground here. You need to choose my place or back at yours." Just before Amanda could answer the doctor came in to do the first test, a cat scan. Just wanted to make sure the kidneys were okay since she was most tender in that spot. They got her to the room and how she hated this machine, too small a space and no room to move. Not that she could anyway she needed to remain still for the test. Thankfully it only took a few minutes. Afterward the nurse pushed her wheelchair back to her room and to Liv. Liv looked at her and told the nurse she'd help her back into the bed if thats where she wanted to go. Amanda decided to stay in the wheelchair for the time being. Though she had to pee, and where the ribs were hurting she needed some help standing. "Hey Liv would you mind helping me up so I can take a piss?" Liv smiled, she helped Amanda to stand and steady herself. "Well that was such a nice way to ask." Liv stayed at the door so she could help get Amanda back to the chair or bed. Just as she was coming out of the bathroom the nurse came back in. "So now we need to get some x-rays." Amanda sighed, she looked over at Liv "You're still gonna be here when I get back right?" The question took Liv by surprise, she thought _'why would she ask me this? of course I'm going to be here.'_ Smiling at Amanda so she wouldnt worry "Of course sweetie I will. I want to and plus I'm your ride home if you havent forgotten."

The nurse took Amanda to the xray room. Liv sat in Amanda's rom and waited. She text Brian, she was furious. **"Brian- I am here at the hospital with Amanda. You did something to her ribs when you hit her. If they are broken or cracked I will make damn sure she presses charges. One other thing, get your shit out of my apartment TONIGHT.-Olivia"** Just as Liv sent the text, Amanda came back to the room. Poor woman was in immense pain. The nurse gave her a heat pad to put on her ribs. She didnt give ice due to her being in so much pain, plus she wanted her side to relax. It took the doctor some time to go over the scan results and the xrays. Thankfully no contusions or cuts to the kidneys. That was his first concern considering her intense pain. She had two cracked ribs. They werent badly cracked, but it wasnt a fracture either. She was going to have take it easy for a while. She was otherwise healthy and had strong bones so while they were going to take some time to heal, they shouldnt take more than eight to twelve weeks to fully heal. The doctor told her that he could give her a shot for pain that would help for the rest of the night and then give her a prescription for pain to start tomorrow.

Amanda had taken the shot. They left the hospital and went to pick up her prescription. Liv figured it was better to go back to Amanda's. Reasons being, Amanda was more comfortable for once and more at ease. Another reason she had told Brian to get his shit out and since she didnt want to see him, this was the best way. Now with Amanda's injuries if she was in the room with him she knew she wouldnt be able to control herself and would hurt him.


End file.
